In this piece, News Target satires new employment postings at the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Some highlights:
- Propaganda Officer : Help the FDA create and spread information that discredits products, companies and ideas that threaten FDA control. No scientific background necessary.
- Science Censor : Bury scientific findings that harm the prestige and credibility of the FDA.
- Chief Oppression Officer : Conduct armed raids on places where dangerous criminals are teaching patients about nutrition.
- Kickback Coordinator : Keep tabs on FDA managers' investments in pharmaceutical companies. Criminal background preferred, mob ties are a plus.
- Morale Officer : Keep FDA employees in line to boost morale and work efficiency.
- Public Safety Program Director : Not really a full-time job. In fact, you don't even need to show up.
News Target August 13, 2005