Below is a series of question and answer emails from someone about relationships, guilt and shoulds – and how to eliminate guilt
From: Julie
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2008 5:16 PM
To: 'Jamie Fettig'
Subject: RE: me
Well… I guess you redefine the word normal… maybe even to the point where the word doesn’t really exist anymore… or changes into a completely different word?
Wish I had tripped out dreams…. Or at least nightly... mine are far and few between… why is that?
From: Jamie Fettig
Sent: Tuesday, 8 January 2008 11:20 AM
To: 'Julie
Subject: RE: me
You probably don’t dream because you have to much unconscious guilt.
Do you experience a lot of “shoulds” during the course of your normal day?
Jamie
From: Julie
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2008 5:39 PM
To: 'Jamie Fettig'
Subject: RE: me
Don’t think I’m guilty about anything… maybe I feel guilty about being such a perfect human being… lol ;-)
Whats a should?
From: Jamie Fettig
Sent: Tuesday, 8 January 2008 11:52 AM
To: 'Julie
Subject: RE: me
LOL
LOL
Shoulds are
I should do X
I shouldn’t have done Y
I know I should ___________
I should be more ___________
Etc.
Shoulds are hidden forms of guilt.
(now, a perfect person might read this and be curious about what, knowing they had other areas that were good and positive.)
Jamie
From: Julie
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2008 6:10 PM
To: 'Jamie Fettig'
Subject: RE: me
Yes… heaps of “shoulds”… I thought that’s just cause I’m a list person.. so I’m constantly aware of whats not done.. or of what I’m yet to do…. And I have a little feeling of anxiety till everything gets done…. Hmmm…maybe guilt… or maybe I am unconsciously guilty bout something.. not sure?
So… ok… what would someone Not want to deal with. come on, I can’t help being curious? :) And wouldn’t it be balanced out by all my many many many perfect qualities.. lol.. ;-)
From: Jamie Fettig
Sent: Tuesday, 8 January 2008 11:52 AM
To: 'Julie
Subject: RE: me
The secret to Relationships.
Does it balance out? Balance in relationships is all perspective.
Balance is all in the hand of the holder. : )
See, if someone chewed their food with their mouth open, I could care less. Others, that is a deal breaker for a relationship.
This is true for almost everything. Some long hair or short hair is a deal breaker, others, could care less.
Etc.
That is the beauty of people. You are looking for someone who sees all the things you do and have as either neutral, or they like them.
So for some, do your goods balance out your things they don’t like? Nope.
For someone else, I am sure they would.
The secret of to do lists and Shoulds:
I have huge lists of things I would like to do. Like so much so they literally will never be done.
I took a seminar called, Mission Control.
They taught me to never have a “to do” list, because it does exactly what you experience. (feeling guilty and anxious about not getting it done)
So they say for you to create a list of Never Doing Now – be honest with stuff on your list you are just never going to do.
Put it on a list, because you want to do it, then you can forget about it, because it is on a list, not taking up Memory power in your brain.
Then you create a Not Doing Now list – you be honest with yourself, and these are the things I am just not doing now. Not that they are not important or you don’t want to do them. Just you are not doing them now.
Then, you schedule everything else. You put it on your calendar of when you are going to do it.
Then you don’t have anxiety about what you should and shouldn’t do, because it is either scheduled, so you will be doing it, or it is on your not doing now list, so you will get to it.
Then when you have time, you can go to your not doing now list and do something on it. When you have time and want to.
This removes all the should’s, and you just do what is scheduled, and when time permits and you want to, do something on your not doing now list.
Now, you made a comment. Maybe I am unconsciously guilty about something else.
YES, you hit the nail on the head. (and we all have unconscious guilt)
You are unconsciously guilty about separating yourself from GOD.
From forming your ego mind. From thinking you are a body. Or that you are a separate mind.
The Cure from all unconscious guilt:
All upset (other than peace/joy) is a mistake, all mistakes are an incident where I was not being loving (judging, anger, etc) then as a response to mistake - we feel guilty to wipe the slate clean, or try and atone our self of the mistake. (we are taught that when we punish ourselves, we wipe the slate clean and start over) –
True atonement or wiping the slate clean is to ask the holy spirit, myself, the mind of God to be loving and forgive the mistake, to forgive the guilt. Because nothing happened.
I love you, I forgive you, from the holy spirit, mind of God, Me - to all mistakes (acts of not being loving). Mine and others
All beliefs that are not reality are a mistake
The secret to success is removing all beliefs that are limiting your self. And all beliefs are limiting you. Don’t need to know which beliefs, just ask the holy spirit to come in and love and forgive the "mistake"
Things based in reality are not beliefs, but truths. Like love, God, Eternal, oneness, etc. These are truths.
Stuffs about the law of attraction, good, bad, deserving, etc, these are beliefs based in the illusions we call reality.
Fear is Guilt, and so eliminating all fear is eliminating all guilt through forgiving the mistakes that we made (which are times of not being loving) to remove the guilt we caused thinking it would atone the mistake
All attack thoughts are a call for love - "other" people attack us because of our own (un)conscious guilt for a mistake we made, so we attract the "attack" into our life. - by being responsible for our feelings and beliefs about "being attacked" we realize they are only calling for love. Love in them for their "mistake" and love in us for our mistake that caused the guilt to attract the attack.
Once we accept and ask the Holy Spirit for Love to heal the guilt, and mistake, the process of attack will not happen to us.
We attack because we think we are separate - and use attack to justify and validate the ego and being right.
Jamie
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