I talk about forgiving a lot, because it is so powerful.
When you are For-Giving (notice the two separate words making one) you are being loving.
Said another way, you are NOT being judgmental, critical, or thinking something or someone is good or bad. Better or worse.
When you are judging someone as good or bad, or their actions as good or bad, you are not being for giving to them.
Everyone has beliefs and experiences. And EVERYONE is always making the best decisions based on those beliefs. That is how you can be forgiving towards anyone, no matter what they did.
Many people adopt their beliefs. They “inherit” them from their parents or culture. They do not consciously choose, “X is what I believe”. They get them by default. Just like you. It is not that they are good or bad, or their choices are good or bad, it is their beliefs they just adopted by default like everyone else that might not be serving of them.
Being forgiving does not mean condoning or approving. It just means being for-giving love towards them. Because the more love you give, the more love you get.
So be For-Giving towards everyone, including yourself. You adopted most of your beliefs by default like everyone else. So you are making the best choices you can based on those. Do not be judgmental or critical of yourself. Be forgiving towards yourself.
And if you want different outcomes, choose different beliefs.