The ultimate answer to the question of why you are not happy, peaceful, joyus, etc. is . . .
The only time you ever experience anything other than peace, joy, happiness, etc is one time and one time only.
You make up a story about what is happening/not happening, and believe it to be true.
See, what happens is never a cause of sadness. It is the story we make up and believe as true that causes anything but joy and happiness.
Like some people make up the story that this is “real”
Some make up that X is good and Y is bad.
Some make up that X Means Z which is bad.
But on some level, you are making up stories about what is happening, and that is the cause of what is happening.
Often times we think the story we are making up is just the truth, the way it is. But it isn’t. It never is. We made it up. If you are not happy, always and every time, you made something up.