Fear keeps you from looking at the real source of your upset, pain, unhappiness, frustration, or any other “negative” emotions
Our mind, our ego tells us that this “thing” out there is causing us fear. So then we think we have to fix this problem that is out there to get rid of the fear.
Blinding us from the reality that it is not the thing out there causing the fear. It is our ego, our mind that is causing the fear.
The simple proof, two people experiencing the exact same situation have two different reactions. One might be fear, the other might be humor, the other might be sadness.
So if the exact same situation supposivly causes different emotions in different people, is it really the thing out there that is causing the emotion?
Not at all. But we like to hide this fact form ourselves. Because if we really got in touch with that we were causing the fear, then we might be wrong, or to blame, or feel guilty about it.
But, that is the only way to truly heal the problems. To heal the fear.
the same thing goes with every emotion. If the outside world or something in it or someone in it, or some thing in it is causing your anger, is causing your frustration, etc. Then you are not at fault, you are not to blame. It is clearly that “thing” out there.
The problem with this is it leaves you powerless. It leaves you not being able to change your feelings. It gives all your power over to something outside yourself. And now you are at the mercy of that thing. You cannot change it and you cannot change your feelings. You have to have the outside thing change for your feelings to be better.
And that sucks.
Because if you have every tried to change someone, how did that work? Or should I say, how didn’t that work.
You cannot change other people. They will be who they be. And if your happiness is dependent on them and how they behave, you will never be happy.
On the other hand, if you realize that it is your reaction to the event, your story in your head, (that you often think is “the truth”) that it is your beliefs that are causing your upset. You know have power to change them and be happy. You are no longer dependent on the outer world to be happy.
So start looking at what you can do, what beliefs you can change, what “shoulds” you can release to allow yourself to be happy again.