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Dr. Jamie Fettig

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Watering Relationships

So this is probably one of the most profound insights I think I have had in a while.

To explain, a story about plants.

When you have a plant you must water the plant, give the plant sunlight, make sure it has good soil, make sure the pot is big enough, etc.

If you want to keep the plant (alive) then you have to do these specific things.

If you don’t do what the plant needs, the plant leaves (dies).

People are the same way, only we all “need” different things.

Some people need:

  • To be told how much they are loved
  • Touched
  • Gifts Bought for them
  • Time Spent with them
  • A feeling of being wanted
  • A feeling of being loved
  • To be needed
  • Not to be needed
  • Freedom to do what they want
  • To have everything planned for them
  • To go out and do things together
  • To stay in and do nothing together

And the catch is, if you don’t water each person in their unique way they want to be watered, that person will leave.

So if you have kids, find out how they need to be watered, and water them that way. They will be smarter, happier, and listen more often.

If you have a spouse, find out how your spouse likes to be watered and water them in that way. They will be happier, easier to get a long with, less arguments, and do more for you as well.

If you have friends or other family members – find out how they like to be watered and water them frequently and often in that way.

If you have a boss, co-workers or employees, find out how they like to be watered and water them in that way.

How do you find out how everyone likes to be watered?
Ask them.

You could ask them possible things like:

  • How do you know you are loved? When someone does X or you feel X, then you know you are loved.
  • What is the one thing you would not want to live without from me? Touch, me saying I love you, me doing things for you?

Or whatever else you want to ask to find out how they want your attention (or don’t)


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